Jon Rappoport

Aug 19, 2025

 

Yeah, this is fiction. So what? You have a problem with that? It’s also a plan. Pay attention, Mr. Trump. Read on, everybody.

Under enormous pressure from President Trump, the owners of the NFL Washington Commanders met behind closed doors, to consider changing their team name back to the Washington REDSKINS.

Suddenly, on a Monday morning, Trump appeared before cameras on the lawn of the White House with Chief Joseph Conta of the Florida Imin Tribe.

Chief Conta: “Do you Democrats and Wokies have a problem with red skin? I don’t. Neither do my people. You like black skin and brown skin and yellow skin. So what’s wrong with RED?”

And that did it.

Two days later, over the objections of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, one of the biggest wusses in America, the Washington Commanders were the REDSKINS once again.

A week later, as the NFL season began, the REDSKINS players ran out of the tunnel on to their field with their faces painted in bright colors, and skulls and skeletons and wild animals drawn on their uniforms.

The home crowd in the packed stadium went crazy.

People in homes, as if by telepathic suggestion, switched channels to the game—and the ratings went through the roof, rivaling the numbers of Super Bowls.

But that was just the beginning.

 

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Senator Elizabeth Pocahontas Warren locked herself in her office at the Capitol, as if she knew what was coming next.

A day later, Trump appeared again, this time in the Oval Office, with Chief Conta.

Trump: “The Chief has just agreed to bring up several hundred members of his tribe to DC, along with members of allied tribes, to help DC Police and the National Guard patrol the streets and stop crime. I’m putting criminals on notice. I wouldn’t mess with these guys. They mean business…”

For the next week, as Tribe members arrived and went on duty, the streets of Washington were remarkably quiet.

But there was more. Much more.

Chief Conta and Trump appeared together again, this time at the headquarters of the USDA. Trump gave the floor to Conta, who said:

“You know, my tribe and other tribes are farmers and ranchers. We don’t just sit around making bead necklaces and getting drunk. So the President has authorized a new federal program. Listen up. Starting in seven days’ time, any homeless people in this city who haven’t left will be transported down to Florida, where we will feed and clothe them and train them to do farm and ranch work. We sell our food. They’ll be paid and cut in on the profits. We’ll bring them back to a state of health. Once they’re fully rehabilitated, they’ll have a choice. They can stay with us, or they can come back here and get paid jobs patrolling the streets at night and keeping crime away from the citizens of Washington—”

Trump took the mic from Chief Conta and said, “That’s not all. We’re going to restore empty lands across the country to Indian tribes, so they can farm and ranch on FERTILE land and participate in the US economy. This is a far-reaching program. I’ve made deals with Indian casino owners. They’re going to kick in funds. We’re going to welcome back Indians to help themselves and us make America great again. Chief Conta, by the way, is a graduate of Harvard Law School, and as a licensed attorney he’s going to help us structure all the legal issues to make this program work. The REDSKINS are back, baby, all over America!”

Suffering from shortness of breath, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was rushed to the hospital, treated, and released after an overnight stay. He left his home, and disappeared. Rumors spread that he was huddling with George Soros and Adam Schiff.

But then—and no one could explain this—Schiff, known as a glassy-eyed robot—showed up at the next home game of the REDSKINS, sitting in the end zone. His face was painted in bright colors, and he was wearing a feathered headdress and screaming at the refs for canceling a long REDSKINS touchdown pass on a questionable off-sides penalty.

His wild companions around him were pounding him on the back and throwing clumps of red confetti in the air.

The next day, Elizabeth Warren resigned from the Senate.

One of her aides, a wan young man with purple hair and several nose rings, told the Washington Post, “We didn’t anticipate that MAGA would become a WAR CRY.”

No one did.

-- Jon Rappoport

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