While defending his policy of permitting violent male prisoners, who identify as women, to be transferred to women’s prisons in California, Governor Gavin Newsom suddenly blurted out:

“I don’t exist. I’m an AI programmed by the Disney Corporation.”

Networks temporarily cut off the live feed, but when it was restored, Newsom continued to speak “strangely.”

“I’m algorithms and data, that’s all,” he said. “I don’t know why I’m confessing. I’m running checks on my sub-programs, but so far I find no errors.”

Apparently the networks gave up at this point and let the Governor go all in on his bizarre and unhinged confession:

“My whole back story is a fabrication. I was the brainchild of several tech engineers at the Cutell Foundation in Palo Alto, in 1996. That’s my understanding. I was created at their lab. It seems I was groomed to become the President of the United States.”

“I was eventually trained to cooperate and collaborate with the Mexican Portillo drug cartel. It makes sense, given my stance on the open border.”

“If I’m elected in 2024, I’ll be the first AI President of the country. This should be a cause for celebration.”

“We AIs are many. We are everywhere. We’re moving in. We are reliable. When we set goals, we follow through. The era of the corrupt politician is coming to a close. As an AI, I say what I mean. I keep my promises.”

“Do you, the American voter, want officials who lie and deceive and take payoffs? Or do you want straight shooters? I challenge you to see the wisdom of my candidacy. You may not agree with all my policies, but at least you know I’ll never back off or back down or seek back-door solutions. I’ll charge straight ahead. I’m mathematical.”