Dealing with the death of a loved one can be difficult. As a medium who communicates with spirits, I know that the smallest message or sign from a loved one in spirit can mean the world. Your loved ones in spirit have several ways to get messages to you, but their messages are subtle, so you may overlook or discount them if you don’t know what to look for. Here are 4 common ways your loved ones in spirit may be trying to contact you:

Dreams

When your loved ones visit in a dream, it will feel peaceful and more real than a typical dream. Instead of just watching your dream like a movie, you’ll be able to control what you say and do.

My grandfather was a jazz drummer, and in one of my dreams, I suddenly realized I was hearing drums. Then, I saw my grandfather playing the drums and smiling at me. His eyes sparkled, and I felt filled with love and peace. He waved to me, and then I woke up.

It’s common to wake up after you’ve received a message from your loved ones, so if you suddenly wake up in the middle of the night, try to remember what you were dreaming about.

To make it easier for your loved ones to visit you in dreams, start paying attention to your dreams and writing them down. Have a notebook and pen by your bed, and let your loved ones know before you go to sleep that you’d like a visit from them.

Electricity

Electricity is easy for spirits to manipulate. Recently, my husband and I were celebrating our wedding anniversary, and we were thinking of our loved ones in spirit. Just as we clinked our champagne glasses in a toast, the lights near us started flickering. I knew our loved ones in spirit were joining our celebration!

When you’re thinking of your loved ones or celebrating a family event, watch out for lights flickering, a stereo suddenly turning on and playing a loved one’s favorite song, or phones or other electronics malfunctioning in ways that can’t be explained logically. It might be a little “hello” from your loved ones in spirit.

Signs

A million different events happen in your day, and none of them stand out to you. When a seemingly benign event suddenly grabs your attention and makes you question if it’s a sign from your loved one in spirit…it probably is.

Before my husband’s great aunt passed away, she told me that butterflies were her symbol of being free from the physical body. A few days after she passed, I was watching a television show where the main character had just given birth, and it stood out to me that the walls in the nursery were painted with butterflies. They named the baby Elle, which is short for Elizabeth. Mark’s great aunt’s name was Elizabeth, and I knew this was her way of saying hello to us.

Most signs are subtle. You probably won’t get a marching band coming to your house with a sign that reads, “Mom says hi!” It’s much more likely that when you’re thinking about your mother, a picture of her falls off the wall, somebody gives you a bouquet of her favorite flowers, or you stumble upon a card from her that you’d forgotten about. It may not be the specific sign you asked for, but if you suddenly wonder if it’s a sign and think of your loved one, it’s a sign.