One of the most common questions I receive is, “Why hasn’t my deceased loved one contacted me yet?” Other people experience some contact, but ask why there hasn’t been more.

I understand the questions since there is still so much needless worry and fear associated with death and dying. I will use quotation marks around the words departed, deceased, and dead since those often have a connotation of an end. Instead, I’ll use more accurate words such as graduate, transition, and cross over. This will help us remember that no one really dies, that life—and love—are forever.

The following keys can enhance your chances of having meaningful “after-death” contacts (ADCs) and help you be more peaceful about living and “dying.

Learn the documented clinical, scientific, and empirical evidence that “death” is not an end. This data indicates that that life continues on after the body dies. Further, this evidence clearly shows that you will see your transitioned loved ones when you pass on. There’s no question about it.Duplicated, double-blind, peer-reviewed, journal-published, and statistically significant university studies leave no doubt. “Death” is not an end . . . just a new beginning into the next phase of life. This evidence, as summarized in my book Soul Proof, can decrease your fear, confusion, worry, and other lower energy emotions about graduating from this earth-experience. And that, in turn, can help you deeply realize that life is never-ending.

Know that ADCs are real and very common. Even though your loved ones who have changed worlds will certainly greet you when you graduate from earth-school, you don’t have to wait until then to communicate with them. Just knowing that this is possible is the first step to establishing a real, although different, relationship with them. At least 25% of Americans have experienced “after-death” contacts. That number swells to 66% for widows and widowers, and 75% for bereaved parents. So these contacts are not weird or kooky but, rather, very common.

Ask for contact with them. Wise spiritual teachings have reminded us, “Ask and you shall receive.” So ask, intend, and pray for a sign. Don’t be timid. Wanting contact with your loved ones who have passed on isn’t sinful or evil.Yes, I know . . . certain chapters of a book—that was written several thousand years ago and has been changed extensively—warned against consorting with spirits. But those same chapters said it was OK to make foreigners slaves for life. They also warned against the sin of cutting the hair a certain way, planting more than one type of seed in the same area, and going to temple when menstruating. That last one was a capital offense, by the way. So who in the 21st century is taking those chapters seriously?

Upgrade your consciousness to higher and finer levels. To best enjoy contact with your loved ones who have gone on to the next phase of life, get on a similar wavelength as they. How? Meditate, spend time in nature, pray, serve others, and express gratitude. Focus on the positives in your life, optimally care for your body/mind, and fine-tune your body/mind as explained in my book Radiant Wellness. Doing this regularly helps your energy be more on the same page, so to speak, as those you are hoping to contact. You can’t communicate with their station 101.5 FM—with higher, more peaceful and loving programming —if you’re tuned in to station 0.1 FM that broadcasts negativity, fear, and resentment. Make sense?

Be aware of subtle communications. Those who feel that they must have a solid and extended contact from transitioned loved ones will probably be disappointed. So realize that their contacts may be more ethereal or fleeting than you expect. Be grateful for contacts such electronic aberrations, lucid dreams, and mysterious occurrences. Be ecstatic about gauzy and temporary apparitions, meaningful coincidences, and telepathic communications. It’s already been proved that afterlife exists so your contact doesn’t have to involve scientific proof. Enjoy your contacts and know they are often not just your imagination or wishful thinking.

Talk to them as if they are present . . . because they probably are. Your loved ones who have crossed over are not a zillion bazillion miles away up in the sky somewhere. That’s a Middle Age or even earlier mistaken concept. They are likely very near, especially when you think of them or feel their presence “out of the blue.” So continue your relationship and talk to them aloud or in your heart and mind. Then listen for subtle responses. Remember that many ADCs have been authenticated so they’re not crazy or strange. Talking helps you remember that everything about them—except for their physical body—is very alive and well.

Release the pressure. Realize that it’s not easy to communicate from one dimension to another. Can you easily and clearly contact those in other realms? I can’t. So don’t put pressure on yourself or them about it. Worry and fear are lower energy emotions so avoid those. Instead, replace them with positive expectancy, excitement, and enthusiasm. Don’t become upset if your initial efforts aren’t fruitful. That will just create additional lower energy and decrease the chance of a successful contact. As in many pursuits, practice makes perfect and relaxation assists success.

Hold an object of theirs. Some psychics and mediums encourage their clients to bring a personal items that belonged to those spirit beings they wish to reach. This makes sense since objects can absorb and retain energy. Holding an object of your departed loved one—in conjunction with the other steps—is another way to enhance a connection with them.

Give thanks when any kind of communication happens so it’s more likely to happen again. Gratitude is one of the highest energy emotions that—along with love—is closest to the energy of Source/God. So focus on the glass being half full and have appreciation for even a fleeting or minor contact.

Leave room for the “X” factor. The universe is indescribably vast and magnificent. There’s much we humans still don’t know about every aspect of life including the phase after physical “death.” Who doesn’t like a great mystery? Our five senses perceive much less than 1% of reality so realize there is much that we cannot perceive or even imagine.For example, contact from your graduated loved ones may be delayed for good reasons that you can’t understand. Maybe they are still recharging, healing, or getting reoriented to spirit side. Perhaps they are very busy with other tasks and are clear that you know love and life are eternal. So don’t get too obsessive about it all and do trust this wonderful Universe/Life/Creator.

Use the Facilitated “After-Death” Contact I’ve created a special way to help you enjoy visits with loved ones who have crossed over. Deep relaxation/hypnosis helps you become more calm and clear. I use some of the points outlined in this article to create a holistic experience. For optimal results, do this session in a quiet setting where you won’t be disturbed. Feel free to share it with close family and friends and, if desired, discuss your experiences afterwards. To order the CD or audio download product, visit https://www.soulproof.com/shop/.

Assist the SoulPhone® Research. Exciting new technological advances are underway to allow reliable communication with “deceased” loved ones and luminaries from every field of study. The first step is completion of a SoulSwitch® that non-physical beings can manipulate to give yes/no replies. The next device will be an array of these switches to create a SoulKeyboard® that will enable a SoulText®. After that, a SoulStudio® will provide the opportunity for both audio and video contact with those “on the other side.” The ultimate goal is to create an application to be used on a SoulPhone®.This research obviously requires space-age quality equipment and staffing. Your assistance—by donation and/or volunteering—can accelerate the completion of this project. To learn more, visit How You Can Help and the websites TheSoulPhoneFoundation.org and www.DrGarySchwartz.com

Let me know if we can assist you and your loved ones in any way. I know that life on Earth can be difficult at times. However, evidence-based knowledge that life and love are forever can immensely improve every aspect of your life in the here and now.